Why do they always talk after sex?

This is the post I’ve dreaded to write about because it’s the best and the worst of my affair with Ray. WARNING: this post contains details of a sexual nature.

Monday came round and it was indeed stressful at work and there was a chance that Ray was going to have to cancel because he might have to go to dinner with the boss. Luckily for both of us he didn’t have to dine with our dreadful boss and he picked me up at our usual time after work. It was raining and he decided that we should dine close by in the neighborhood. He parked on the street in a loading zone and I told him he shouldn’t chance it but he debated with me that the place of business was closed so it was okay.

When we sat down he told me about his date with dotcom woman. I hadn’t asked but he brought it up because it had gone well. My heart sank and I think he could tell. He also told me that I couldn’t spend the night as he had to get up early and again I had a look of disappointment across my face. For those who don’t know me, my face is an open book and my feelings are often visible in my eyes.

We finished dinner and found a parking ticket on his car. He decided we should go back to his place instead of mine. Our foreplay started in his dinning room and he pulled out a chair and sat me down, pulled off my new lacy undies that was given to me for my birthday by Sara and I wrapped my legs around his back. Thank you, Sara. He did not disappoint and before long I’d had several orgasms. He pulled me onto him while he was kneeling and kept the momentum going.

We then transitioned to standing and making out in the archway, he grabbed the frame and I took my turn kneeling. When he had his orgasm I stood and we made out again and this time he kissed my shoulder. We soon learned that my shoulder was an erogenous zone and I actually climaxed from his tongue kissing my collarbone. We later tried the same spot to find that I have to be ramped up for that spot to become erogenous. He continued to kiss my neck and shoulder while fondling me and I literally had an orgasm that lasted over a minute straight, maybe longer, in fact it felt like forever and it was incredible.

We headed off to the bedroom and Ray was excited by our elaborate foreplay. We continued our lovemaking and this time he discovered my G spot and we both enjoyed that sensation for a while forcing me to grab hold of his headboard. We moved into the missionary position and when he came he grunted which always turns me on.

Afterwards we talked in bed about my capacity for orgasms and how most women can’t handle having their G spots touched for any length of time. I’m still curious about these poor women who can barely have one orgasm during sex. Perhaps they are just with the wrong man.

As we laid there, he continued to talk and I drifted into my happy place. He stopped and asked if we needed to talk about this. Hmmm? “Talk about what?” I asked. “About you falling in love. If so we need to turn on the light.” Again I was dumbfounded as I was still in my happy place and my mind was not functioning at one hundred percent after that many orgasms. I guess you could call them mind-blowing as I was feeling rather stupid.

Ray flipped on the light and started talking about where he was in life, what kind of man he was, obstacles he’s overcome and how he was not in a falling-in-love-kinda place. It felt like a lecture and here I was naked sitting in his bed trying to figure out why we were having this conversation. He realized that I wasn’t exactly participating in the conversation and asked me what I thought. I was still having trouble focusing and my thoughts were scattered. “Um, I’m not falling in love and if I were standing on that cliff, this conversation has made me move twenty steps back away from that edge.”

He continued his speech and again my eyes glazed over. When he finally changed topics, I joined the conversation about our parents and the loss of his mother.

We got dressed and he drove me back to my sanctuary, my home, my little apartment with brightly colored walls and my two cats.  I went to bed and was sadden by the conversation and I knew that everything was about to change.

My Birthday Weekend

I didn’t have any plans with Ray or Tom for the weekend even though Tom was trying unsuccessfully to woo me via my space messages. Ray on the other hand had the advantage of working with me and used my new tattoo to get close to me each day to exam the progress of its healing.

My birthday is a week before the holidays and is prime time for everyone’s holiday parties so we all had several parties to attend that weekend anyway.

Ruca and Sara wanted me to talk to Ray about where our relationship was headed. I told them that we didn’t exactly have a relationship and I wasn’t concerned. Ray and I didn’t have any plans set and I knew that the holidays were concerning him. He’d already expressed that he intended to spend the holidays alone. After telling the girls that I wasn’t worried about Ray, I walked over to visit him in his office as I do on a daily basis now. Ray and I bantered about nothing much and then he realized that we hadn’t set up a “play date” as he put it. I mentioned that I knew that he’d be stressed on Monday night and it might be a great night to play and relieve some of his stress. He agreed and we had a date for the night after my birthday.

On Sunday Ray and Tom both called to wish me a happy birthday. Ray and I talked right before my spin class and he joked about how turning thirty-five made me a full fledged woman and gave me hope that our age differences weren’t bothering him as much now that I’d reached a milestone year.

My birthday was everything I’d hoped for from getting to pick the songs the instructor used in spin class, to having my girlfriends over for brunch at my place to having an evening all to myself. I couldn’t have planned a better day except to have Ray in my bed that night.

All Alone with the Canadians

Ruca and Wu decided they couldn’t handle another night out in a row and bailed on me. So I headed to the lobby when Ray caught up with me. We talked for a moment and he told me to have fun with the guys and kissed me quickly on the lips.

I was stunned and looked around to see if anyone had seen us but Ray was already headed to his car. He had deliberately kissed me before I headed off for another night out with the Canadians.

I drove over the hill to the old Farmer’s Market and the Mall attached. I waited for Jimmy to call as promised and walked around the Mall. I shopped only to find that the prices had been marked up incredibly high until I wandered into Forever 21 where I overheard a conversation about coats. So I decided to check them out as my winter coats no longer fit.

I found a stylish red wool blend coat for fifty-four dollars and a cute pair of fingerless gloves to match. Sold. I walked back to my car and dumped the jacket I was wearing and tired of waiting for Jimmy to call, I got out my cell and dialed his Canadian cell. They had been trying to call for hours and had the wrong number for me. They were thinking of heading home but told me to meet them at the Apple Store.

Upon seeing me, Jimmy decided we all needed to go out for a drink so we headed to the old Farmer’s Market and found a bar inside.

We had a great time flirting and joking around. I told them of a few of my latest dating stories with all the sexy details making Derek’s day. I found out that Ryan and Derek had a thing for Wu and I told them a few things to make them swoon. They told me they would be back in January and couldn’t wait to see Wu again.

When Jimmy headed off to the loo Derek grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Jimmy has the biggest thing for you. I don’t know what you will do with that information but I wanted you to know. He’s a great guy, you know.” I told him that I was already dating someone and that jimmy lived too far away for me.

When Jimmy returned a few pictures were taken of all of us hanging out. Derek decided to bite me on the chin for a pic and I told him that’s not where I like to be bit. He asked and I showed them a bruise on my shoulder so he bit my shoulder for another pic. It was eleven o’clock and the bar was closing so we all said good-bye and I got a kiss on the cheek from all four with an extra squeeze on my bottom from Derek. Mind you that Derek is the married one.

Jimmy asked if I wanted to hang out with him in Santa Monica as he wasn’t flying out till Thursday and I told him I had plans.

A little lie as I didn’t want to lead him on like that and I’d been out four nights in a row myself and looked forward to a night alone. I turned and waved to them and headed to my car still wearing my new red coat.

I felt sexy, stylish and beautiful.

A night out with the Canadians

My 35th birthday approached and I embraced my age and looked forward to this birthday. I had been taking spinning classes for months which had aided me in my weightloss and I planned to start off my birth year spinning my butt off. Followed by brunch with my girlfriends at my place. I also had a few holiday parties lined up so this left little to no time for any romance.

But my flirting skills were sharpened with the arrival of my fellow co-workers from the Canadian office. Jimmy and I had talked back and forth for over a year and he and the crew were in town to cover a story. A few of us from work met up with Jimmy and the guys for dinner and drinks on Monday night. It was a blast and we all had fun swapping stories and getting to know each other live and in person. Wu and I learned quickly that this group was lively and lecherous. They were all over Wu and Ruca at dinner trying to pry secrets out of them.

Derek introduced himself to me and without missing a beat said, “Oh, Frank! The one with the nude photos of herself.” I blinked twice trying to think if he would know of my actual nudes and realized he was kidding. I joked back about it and went back to my conversation with Jimmy about his growing up in Scotland.

At the end of the night we had made plans to hang out again and Derek teased me again that I shouldn’t shake Jimmy’s hand but make out with him instead. “I’m already sleeping with two men and I don’t need to be adding a third,” I shouted back as I walked out the door.

The next day Ruca, Wu and I laughed about our fun night out with the Canadians and Ray overhead. Wu wanted to know why men in Los Angeles didn’t have big personalities like the Canadians did. None of us had an answer for her. Sara and I talked about Jimmy’s obvious crush on me and Ray asked if I’d go out with him. “I have many reasons not to go out with Jimmy and the first is that he lives in Canada. Do I need to go on?” Ray chuckled a little and said no. He seemed mildly jealous despite his previous objections that he doesn’t get jealous. Sara saw it too.

Jimmy called me at work to set up a meeting place for the night and had chosen a cheesy outdoor mall as he’d heard it was a great place to hang out. I agreed to meet up with them and bring Wu and anyone else along.

A Comedy Tonight

We’d just seen each other that morning and here it was Sunday night and Ray was picking me up to take me out to a holiday play at one of the little local theaters. One of his friends had co-written the play and also had a role on stage. This was a holiday tradition for Ray and he’s seen it every year for nine years.

We arrived too early and the theater was not allowing anyone to enter so we walked around and got back in the car. Ray was nervous and brought the conversation around to where we stood. I again told him that I had no expectations for our relationship aside from the great sex we were having. I liked what we had and wanted to keep it on a day to day basis. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he couldn’t see any real future for us because I was so much younger but he too loved our sex life and agreed that we should continue it day by day.

We walked back in and took front row seats in the tiny makeshift theater. The comedy was set in a little town in Minnesota during a holiday party in which drunken hilarity ensued. It was funny and a little witty. After the play we waited for his friend to emerge from the “backstage” but after a few minutes Ray gave up and wanted to find a place to eat dinner.

As it was my birthday celebration he wanted me to choose so we headed to my favorite Thai joint where a great Elvis impersonator entertained the patrons while they ate. We enjoyed the food and the music and he agreed that the Elvis impersonator was really good.

He asked what else I had hoped for and I gave him a sly look and made him guess what else I wanted for my birthday. Since we were closer to my home he headed in that direction. My place was not as neat as his own as I am my own housekeeper and I’d been too busy with my crazy workout schedule to straighten up lately. He told me that he was essentially a boy and boys don’t care.

We headed straight for my bed and he pulled off my underwear and his pants. We ended up in the yoga style child’s pose as that position seemed to work so well for both of us. It was quick and hot and we left the rest of our clothes on. It was clear that he wasn’t going to stay as it was a “school night” and Ray still hadn’t completely kicked his cold so we rested for a moment before he left for the night.

I was left to my thoughts and my worries as our conversation in the car lingered. I knew I should be worried but at the same time I hadn’t placed any pressure on him and our undefined romance.

My Tattoo date

I finally decided, after a decade of debating, on a tattoo design, my first tattoo, based on some jewelry that I’ve purchased over the years from a local vendor with real flowers fashioned in resin, paint and silver. A daisy. A simple daisy on my left forearm centered amongst my freckles.

Ray had been bugging me for over a year about what tattoo I was going to get and was excited to hear that I’d made an appointment the week before my 35th birthday. He hinted that he would go with me so I asked if he’d be my Saturday night Tattoo date. He immediately accepted, offered to drive and take me out to dinner before.

Saturday night rolled around and Ray picked me up promptly at seven and took me to the cafe from our first date. We talked about my tattoo and possible other ones in the future.

We arrived at the tattoo parlor and my tattoo artist went to work designing my tattoo off a ring that I brought in. I was strangely calm about the whole thing as the artist went to work. I won’t say that it didn’t hurt but I will say that not all of it hurt. Ray offered to let me hold his hand, I smiled at him and politely refused. Since he had some time to kill he had another artist touch up his murder of crows.

We left the tattoo shop with our arms bandaged up and full of adrenaline. On the car ride home driving about 80 mph on the freeway, Ray reached over and stuck his hand down my pants to make me forget about the lingering pain of the tattoo. I threw my head back and enjoyed the ride trusting Ray to the driving of the car and of myself. He knew me well and in no time I forgot about the burning sensation of the daisy tattoo and melted into the car seat.

We were headed to his place, his sanctuary where his clean white sheets and art covered walls waiting for our arrival. Again we barely made it into his apartment before tearing into one another. Revved up by the car ride home we needed little foreplay to pick back up. Before I knew it I was curled up in his arms reveling in the heat of our adrenaline powered passion.

He led me into the bathroom to clean our tattoos. He enjoyed teaching me how to care for my fresh tattooed skin and held my arm under the hot water. He soon felt my pain when he washed his own tattooed arm and we again climbed back into bed this time to sleep.

In the morning, without a word we embraced each other again. I’ve mentioned it before but I truly enjoy waking up to a sexy man beside me.

Since we had another date that night, Ray drove me home so we could run our weekend errands.

Monday came too soon

As Monday always does.  Ray and I flirted in the office as we’d always done and I debated telling him that I’d decided that I could no longer emotionally handle being with two men.

Not to mention, that Tom’s ramblings had grown more intense and random. This could be due to his self medicating behavior which didn’t bother me at first. After some time with Tom I realized just how much he drank and smoked to calm his mind so he could sleep. Having grown up with alcoholics in my extended family, I found this to be more than a quirk in his personality.

While I know that no one is perfect especially myself, I deserved more.

So one evening when Ray called to chat, I told him that I was no longer planning to date Tom. My news was met with a disappointed voice on the other end of the phone. Ray reminded me that he still had plans to go on a date with the dotcom woman. And I reminded him that I had no problems with that.

In fact, I didn’t. I knew it was important for Ray to date other women. Afterall his last girlfriend was the woman he thought he was going to marry. Plus it would help him decide where we stood. While I was fine with taking things day by day without expectations this was not the way his mind worked.

My birthday weekend was approaching and Ray and I both had holiday parties to attend. A couple of these were work related and we could not go together. So he made plans for the weekend before to take me out to his friend’s holiday play. It was also the weekend I was getting my first tattoo and Ray was going with me.

We had two dates that weekend all lined up.

Should I stay or should I go?

After an amazing night and morning with Ray I was hesitant to go through with my date with Tom. Afterall I had a cold and could easily use my scratchy voice to get out of it. But a small part of my mind tugged at the fact that Ray was no where near committed to me and I to him. I still didn’t know for certain which one I wanted to be with and which one to end it with.

So when Tom called to confirm what time and if I liked gumbo and garlic, I decided that I needed to give him one more chance. I threw on a pair of jeans and headed over with a bottle of wine.

He invited me in and I played with Bud, his dog while he finished cooking. He had started a fire in the living room and brought out a glass of wine to me. He then brought out the gumbo and we dined on the floor by the fire. The gumbo was extra spicy and I managed to eat most of it and hoped that the extra garlic would kill my cold.

He lightly stroked my leg and I realized that I really did like him and when he leaned over for a kiss, I accepted it. We moved into his bedroom and onto his bed. He went down and it was good but something wasn’t working for me. We continued on and it still wasn’t right and I had to fake it. Oh my, I’ve never faked it before and I realized why. Ray. My body and my mind were on the same page and I didn’t want to be with Tom anymore.

He was restless and worked on a computer project while I slept. I was exhausted from the cold, staying up the night before, and from a lot of sex that day. When I woke up at 3am, Tom had climbed into bed and cuddled up with me. Being a little addicted to sex at this point, we were kissing in no time and again my body and my mind fought me. This time with vertigo and I had to stop Tom. The room started spinning and all I could do was lie still and wait.

Because I was dizzy I stayed the night since I was in no condition to drive home and Tom tried to dote on me. I told him that I just needed some sleep and so we did. In the morning I was still woozy from the vertigo but I needed to get out.

He offered some toast and orange juice and I gladly accepted. While we ate we talked and his ramblings grew more random and I couldn’t keep up with his odd subjects. He touched on his family and mentioned that he wanted a family of his own one day. That was the moment when I decided that the two of us could not continue this. Okay, that and having to fake it earlier in the night.  We had talked at least twice about the fact that I do not want to have children. I know I’m odd, being a woman in her thirties whose biological clock doesn’t tick. But it doesn’t and I know because it ticked once fifteen years earlier and hasn’t worked since.

He walked me to my car and with one foot in the car and one on the street he kept talking. And talking. And talking. Finally he let me leave and I drove home.

Back to my sanctuary, my home, my little apartment with brightly colored walls and my two cats.  And I thought of Ray.

It was just as hot

We arrived at his apartment and our carnal lust for one another took over. I had worn a full slip under my dress and wrap sweater and again wore the knee high boots. For the first part of the night we left the slip on as it seemed to play out an old fantasy of his. Our sexual chemistry is incredible and with each new position it was clear that we just fit together nicely.

We had tackled my lost fellatio-mojo from previous boyfriends that judged my technique. My last boyfriend was uncircumcised and inexperienced which made the act difficult due to his extra sensitivity. I could never get the hang of it and therefore felt inadequate in giving it. Ray gave me some tips and my mojo returned. He made sure to compliment me in my quick study and improvement from even a few days before.

I was intrigued as I’d never really liked performing this sexual act and now I feel empowered by it. It also helps that Ray doesn’t eat red meat and his body chemistry tastes good to me.

After a few hours we fell asleep and awoke early the next morning again falling back into each other arms. We lingered in bed and he asked if I would join him as he had to lead a group discussion that morning. I agreed and we stopped off at my place so I could change. We arrived at the meeting and I sat in the crowd that was building and he took a seat at the main table. It was nice to see him in his element and to hear everyone laughing at his jokes. The discussion that followed was full of deep emotions and at one point Ray commented about being in bad relationships and good ones and when he said that the thing he was in at that moment was really, really good, I was on an emotional high.

After the discussion he took me home as he had a date that he’d set up through a dating site weeks before. I knew from his past girlfriend that I shouldn’t show any signs of jealousy. Especially since I was still seeing Tom that night. Feeling naughty I offered to let him defile me before he left for his date but he declined as the date was in less than an hour.

He left my apartment and I relaxed on the couch with my two kitty cats. Ray called later to let me know that the dotcom woman rescheduled due to car problems and that he should have taken me up on the offer.

Night out in Chinatown

Nearly every night that week Ray called to chat and check in with me and my health. It was sweet and we talked about things that could not be said at work.

Despite our colds Ray and I still kept our date on Friday night and he took me to one of his favorite Chinese joints in the heart of Chinatown. I was still getting used to his old fashioned ways of opening doors and walking on the street side of the sidewalk. I’m a bit of a feminist and not used to such etiquette but I was starting to appreciate being treated like a woman instead of a girl.

I let Ray order from the menu as he was a regular at the restaurant and he made sure to order spicy items to fight off our colds. The food was delicious as was the conversation. I was getting to know the Ray outside of work and even after working together for two years, I really didn’t know him.

We left the restaurant and he drove me down an old street where house after house was in the old Victorian style. It was holiday season and a few of the houses were decorated with lights. We then headed to his apartment to find out if the sex was still just as hot as it was on Monday night.