the Tuesday that followed

I was slowly realizing which man I wanted more and my night with Ray lingered in my mind. In fact while sitting at work after a fresh shower and change of clothes, I could still smell him on me. It was erotic.

Our flirting that day was intense as our night together was hotter than either of us could have imagined. Luckily Ray is a big flirt so most people in the office ignore who he flirts with and how. It’s all part of his charm. We continued to flirt over email, typing things we could not say out loud at the office. The flirting was fun but at the same time made me nervous as I’d heard stories of how the office reacted to a previous romance. Ray didn’t seem to care.

The side affect of not getting enough sleep the night before was a weakened immune system and we both had the first signs of a scratchy throat.

In the meantime, Tom was trying to “romance” me through my space and even had the gumption to ask me out for Saturday night via the message. I was amused and thought to myself, ‘why not?’ I wanted to give him another chance to see if I was making the right choice so I accepted the date.

The week went by and people in the office noticed the new glow about me. But my cold grew worse and so did Ray’s.

My first night with Ray

When Ray picked up the check, he asked where he was taking me. I looked him dead in the eyes and said, “To your place, of course.”

So we walked out of the restaurant and headed to his car where he opened the door and off we went. We made it as far as the top of the stairs in the entranceway of his apartment. The coats came off onto the floor and we kissed so passionately that it was clear that our chemistry and sexual tension was hot. He held out his hand and led me to his bedroom, where he had removed all the lavender oil as I’ve got a strange allergic reaction to lavender. A great romantic gesture on his part.

He lit candles to set the mood and he stood in front of me and dropped to his knees, lifted my skirt, took off my underwear and kissed me between the legs till I came. (pause for a moment as I recall this memory) Wow, all while still wearing the dress and the boots. He stood and kissed me again, undressed me and himself and brought me to the bed. Again, we left my boots on as a few of my nudes where taken in the boots and the erotic nature of the images enhanced the beginning of the night.

In the four hours that followed Ray took me to new levels of ecstasy and it was definitely the most amazing sexual experience of my life. He has the most incredible techniques. We fell back into the pillows and I curled up to him. We joked back and forth about how hot that was and talked about all the dirty sex we’d just had. He smiled and said, “Well, I thought that we should start off with some dirty hot sex for this affair.”

We wished each other sweet dreams, an affirmation that we say to one another often, and fell asleep. When we awoke not a word was spoken and we embraced one another, kissed and again without a word I got my precious morning sex. And again it was hot.

It was six o’clock on Tuesday morning and we both had to go to work in a few hours. So we lounged a little longer, talked over some jasmine tea and noticed the piles of clothing and boots on the floor. Ray grabbed his camera and snapped off a couple of photos he titled, evidence. He also took a flattering nude of me lying face down on his bed. The morning was slipping by and while I would have loved to call in sick, I knew we couldn’t and he drove me home.

Before getting out of the car Ray made another date with me for Friday night with the condition that I was allowed to break it for a date with Tom if he called. I quickly and sincerely told him, “I made a date with you and I will not break it.”

I headed to my apartment and he called out, “Bye, Sexy!” I turned to wave and then turned back to walk up the stairs only to find myself tripping and not so gracefully landing my hands on the steps in front of me. I quickly got up and looked to see if Ray had witnessed my swan dive into the stairs and couldn’t tell as he had just backed out of the driveway.

Since he is a true gentleman I may never know if he saw my un-ladylike moment.

My date with Ray

One of my annoying co-workers stepped into my office at 5:55pm and wanted to go over his report. I gave him the evil eye and told him that since I couldn’t turn it in tonight it could definitely wait for morning. He wouldn’t leave and when I told him that I had a hot date he finally left at 6:05pm.

I rushed home, showered, and dug through my clothing to find something to go with the new two inch, knee-high black boots that my sister had given to me for my upcoming birthday. At this point I’d lost forty-five pounds in eight months and had very few sexy skinny clothes. I found a little black dress that I’d purchased a month back and threw it on with a sweater to keep warm. I fixed my hair, reapplied my makeup and was ready in 30 minutes for my first actual date in two years.

Tom and I had never actually gone out and only met up at his place for dinner that he prepared. Since Tom himself was a 39 year old artistic type that sported shorts, combat boots and a mohawk, I never dressed up for him. But Ray is an old-school gentleman who insists on picking up his date, walking on the street side of the sidewalk, opening doors and helping a woman with her jacket, and all this meant I got to dress up for our dates.

I felt stunning. And just as I’d picked out a jacket, Ray called and was waiting outside. I walked out, strutted down the steps of my 1920s Brick Styled building, and walked to his car. He saw me walking and shouted out, “Hey sexy.” When we met face to face quietly he said, “Well, here we are”, wrapped his arms around my hips and leaned in for our first kiss. Wow, our first real kiss after all the flirting, the photo exchanging and the hot phone sex. Neither of us were disappointed. It. Was. Good.

He opened the car door and drove me to his favorite restaurant. As we walked in the electricity between us was intense and I know he felt it too. We talked about how strange it was to start an office romance. And about how I didn’t find it as strange as he did.

During dinner we talked about our recent journeys and adventures and the possibility of having sex after all that had transpired between us over the last four weeks. I played coy and told him that I hadn’t made up my mind but he knew that I had. He had given me a choice of restaurants and I purposely picked the one closest to his apartment.

Our conversation that followed was fun, flirty and extremely intense and he thanked me for wearing a dress that was low cut in the front. He later told me that based on that he knew that I had every intension of going to his place after dinner.

Seeing Ray for the first time in a month

I must confess that I work with Ray and that he is older than I . . .  but now that I am 35 it doesn’t seem all the strange to me. I think my friends have a hard time with it because they’ve never met him and all my past boyfriends tended to be younger than me. My girlfriends at work, Sara and Ruka were a little apprehensive at first by our flirting but over time they realized that there’s a realness behind it. In fact Sara quietly disapproved of the flirting as she was friends with Tom and thought Ray was a player but when I almost got fired and Ray called me twice to calm me down from across the world, she announced to me that she approved and thought we had the makings of a great romance.

Ruka was on pins and needles to see the reaction between Ray and I after all the long distance intimacy. I was standing in the lobby when he arrived and we slyly smiled at one another and greeted each other with a drawn out, “Hi Lady…” and “Hi Ray, welcome back.” After witnessing the reunion, Ruka was both excited and a little mortified that she was in the lobby at the time. She was in on the secret office romance.

I’m sure that I blushed but luckily the office has dimmed lighting to hide it a little. And not to be too obvious we both walked to our offices at either direction of the building without more words to give us away.

The rest of the day was filled with emails back and forth, a few fun flirty moments in the kitchen, and a short conversation about what time he was picking me up that night.

Sunday night with Tom

Tom picked me up at baggage claim, carried my suitcase to the car and drove me to his place where my car was waiting to take me back home to my two kitty cats. Tom said he’d understand if I wanted to head home from there as he knew he himself would miss his dog, Bud a lot. I told him that I wanted to stay for a little while before heading out.

So he offered me some champagne and we headed to his bedroom as he had a friend crashing on the couch that week. And again we kissed and fell into his soft bed. I really do like the way he kisses and I feel safe and comforted in bed with him. The strangest thing for me is that he doesn’t fall asleep easily and afterwards he’ll talk, okay ramble until I fall asleep. His mind races a mile a minute and he rarely lets me say more than a few words. I’m not saying that I don’t have my moments of incessant talking as you can tell by my blog. I’m just saying the man can talk.

While we lounged in his bed he told me about the things he had planned out for his life and the career changes he want to make. His ambitions and dreams. He even talked about the places he wanted to travel and that’s when he talked about how he hoped to visit Amsterdam in a couple years but when he was single and not tethered down. This touched a nerve and when he paused I spoke, “You still are single at the moment, and who knows where you will be in a couple years.” He quickly replied, “I didn’t mean I was tethered down.” “I know, and I’m saying that you currently aren’t in a committed relationship, in fact being where you are in life, you should really date more, more than me and have sex with them too. It would be good for your heart to see what else is out there.” Not knowing that I had actually forced the issue of dating other people he responded, “And you should date other people too.”

I had inadvertently gotten permission to date Ray, not that I needed it as I had been flirting with Ray before I hooked up with Tom and I was more than aware that I was a single woman. But there it was and for a fourth time, Tom had pushed me away emotionally.

Around one o’clock a.m. I began to crave the comforts of my own bed and to see my two little fur balls. So I got up and he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight. On my drive home he called to make sure I made it home safely. So sweet.

I pulled into the driveway and walked into to my sanctuary, my home, my little apartment with brightly colored walls and my two cats. Ah, home sweet home.

I fell into my bed and dreamed of Ray.

Sunday travels

I was ecstatic about my trip back to the city for a date with Tom that night and a date the following night with Ray. How lucky could one girl get?

My connection was at the Dallas airport and I needed to call Tom to remind him of my arrival time at the airport. Again telling him that he need not pick me up at the airport. He again told me that he wanted to see me again and that he lived close to that airport.

We talk for an hour, well, again he talked about his ex and about how the relationship ended. He also brought up that he’s not ready for a relationship for a third time. Okay, I got it. Of course he’s not ready as he’s in rebound mode and his confidence was a little shot as mine had been a year before. So I assured him again that I too was not looking for commitments of any kind.

He was also worried about breaking my heart as we have friends in common and would cross each other’s paths in the future. I told him that after my previous relationships there was a huge barrier around my heart and it would take a lot for him to break my heart. I didn’t have the strength to tell him that it was more likely that I would break his heart.

My flight was boarding and we said good-bye knowing that in a few hours we would be face to face again. And there I was left with my thoughts of the two men in my life. Both putting up barriers but one I’ve known for two years the other I knew through friends. I was torn as I really liked both men and when I thought of one I immediately thought of the other.

Ray and I had a few conversations about the mental and physical effects of having more than one lover. I myself had never had more than one man in my life at any given time. I had no idea how I would feel.

Perhaps I wasn’t so lucky after all.

While away from home

I had left the city the day before Ray flew back into the city from London. We had missed each other for another week and a half and our flirty emails continued. I had told him that I wasn’t going to take any nudes while at my parents’ house. But since our relationship is built completely out of breaking the rules, I went up to my makeshift bedroom with my laptop and camera and took some more photos for him.

At this point the differences between men and women were clear. Ray took more obvious nudes with bright light and nothing left to the imagination while I took my photos with dimmed light highlighting my new skinner yet curvy body. Mine were artistic and his were at times crude. So we decided to compromise and slowly took photos that would be more pleasing to the other.

Ray has great tattoos and I asked him to highlight them for me and the series of photos that followed are my favorites of his. I, with a lot of coaxing from him and an amazing night of phone sex, turned on another lamp in the room and took more revealing photos. I had never had phone sex and neither had Ray but I would have to say that listening to his voice describing in detail what he would do to arouse me if he were there was nothing short of erotic. It was such a great experience that we did it again the next night.

Ray asked if we could have dinner when I returned and when I agreed he asked if it could be the night after I returned. It was also the first day we would see each other at work.

In the meantime, Ray and I have full disclosure and he knows all about Tom and is convinced that Tom has the makings of a future boyfriend while he has been chatting occasionally with someone from an online dating site. He also knew that Tom was picking me up from the airport on Sunday night. Another reason he chose Monday night for our first date.

While I was at my parents’ home my family tolerated my constant need to check my email, thanks to wireless internet in the house, and my sisters and sister-in-law were intrigued by my tales. I was glowing and happy the whole time. I was adding a new energy to the house and even my Mom was helping me spot the Hot Mailman each morning. It was too funny racing to the front door with my mother on Saturday morning to catch a better glimpse of Hot Mailman.

I kinda hope she’s still looking out for him each morning while doing her morning crossword.

My last night with my family was a outing with my brother, his wife and my lil sis to a Jillians where we shot pool and then bowled two games. It was great to bond with my brother again as it seems like it’s been too long.

On Sunday morning most of my family drove me to the airport and we said our good-byes. I only see them once or twice a year but we all talk on the phone on the weekends. My parting was bittersweet as I had two men waiting for me in the city.

The night I left the city

So on Monday night I called Tom, forget the Rules. Who needs the Rules when you can get a booty call before a week long trip to the parents’ home? Not me, and I’ve read the Rules because a girlfriend made me read it.

We set up a dinner date for Wednesday night at his place and when Wednesday arrived he called me to regretfully tell me he’d have to work late. A common occurrence in his line of work and I told him that I completely understood and offered to come over later and skip dinner. He paused and told me that he had to get back to work. Ten minutes later he called again to tell me that he liked my plan and would call again when he was on his way home.

At ten o’clock he called and had decided that he wanted to have more time with me than just in the bedroom. He asked, “I am right that I’m turning down sex?” I told him just that but he said he still wanted our date to be more than that so we rescheduled for Friday night and he offered to drive me to the airport in the morning to catch my flight. He said when I told him that I had a ride, “That way I get to spend more time with you and your friend will be happy to get to sleep in.”

I told you he was a sweet guy.

On Friday my cell phone was shut off due to my forgetting to pay my bill but I did not discover that fact until I got off work and needed to call Tom. So I had to go back to work to call in payment and get my phone back on. After an hour I managed to get a hold of Tom on my work line to find out what time he was getting off of work. And so I headed to his place with my luggage in tow.

When I arrived he served me salmon, asparagus risotto and a delicious greek salad with a lovely red wine. I felt spoiled and the night seemed perfect despite his lack of dinning table. We set on the floor and dined by his fireplace.

We watched the documentary the US Vs John Lennon but we ended up not finishing it and headed off to the bedroom to have sex twice and then I needed an actual shower as having sex on your period is a little messy.

I walked into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror looking back at a beautiful naked woman. I’ve never ever thought of myself as beautiful. Pretty? Sure. Cute? Definitely, as that’s how most people describe me. But Beautiful? I think it was the first time I ever truly felt that way about myself.

Tom walked into the bathroom behind me and kissed my neck. It was hot and then he turned me around and told me I was beautiful and kissed me again.

We got into the shower and right before we gave new meaning to the yoga pose Down Dog he told me that he’s not interested or ready for a relationship. He acknowledged that was probably not the best time to talk about it. I reassured him that I too am not looking for a relationship and am merely looking to explore my sexuality. I placed my hands comfortably on his chest and said, “I may look like relationship girl, but I am NOT relationship girl. I’m just rediscovering my sexuality and you’re a part of that.”

Five AM came way too fast and we threw on some clothes and headed to the airport close to his home.

My night with Tom

He drove me to his place and introduced me to his dog, an energetic yet well behaved Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Bud. We played with Bud for a little while and then I could tell he wasn’t sure what would happen next and he led me to the bedroom where we kissed for the first time.

I have to say he is a fantastic kisser. He kisses just the way I like with nibbling, light lip sucking and some tongue. Too much info… just you wait.

He lit a couple of candles and helped me out of my clothes starting by going down without a word from me and the rest of the night went from there. Three hours later and a few water breaks, I had broken my two year dry spell and he had finally rebounded from his long-term relationship. It was incredible and everything I could have hoped for. My gut feeling that we were physically matched was still right on the money.

The thing I missed the most about sex is that moment between sex and sleep where I can wrap myself around him and hold him close to me with all his weight on me as if we were trying to become one person. And Tom seemed to know how much I needed that moment.

I actually fell asleep next to him, something that was harder for me in the past, I still tossed and turned a little but I did sleep. In the morning we awoke and were at it again. Ah, morning sex, the second thing I missed the most about having sex is waking up to it first thing.

We lounged for a while in his bed and enjoyed talking to one another. Well actually he did most of the talking. And when we realized that he didn’t have anything to offer me for breakfast but cereal with soy milk, and with my being allergic to soy, he drove me back to my car and made sure to get my number.

By the time I got home he called me. He was checking to see that I got home safe and sound, that I had his number in turn, to tell me that he really enjoyed our time together and hoped to see me again.

I too needed to see him again before I flew home to my parents for my week long vacation away from the big city.

on the Pub Crawl

Okay, first a brief description of the LA Metro Pub Crawl organized by a guy named Matt. We start off at a pizza place near a Metro Rail stop to prepare for a night of drinking and walking. We use the Metro Rail to get across town: One Stop, One Bar, One Drink: is the motto. And we visit LA’s pubs, dives, clubs and bars along the way. We usually hit about 5-6 in a night as the Metro Rail stops at 12:30am.

This was my third Pub Crawl and this time I was really ready to meet someone new. It took me a while to truly be ready and to really want to date again. In October I knew I was ready when my body screamed out to me, ‘find someone now!’

On my second Pub Crawl I met Tom, a big artistic type guy who looked tough on the outside but was sweet on the inside complete with mohawk and heavy gage earrings. He even offered to stay behind with us when one a the girls stopped for taquitos to make sure we were safe. I felt a connection with him but neither of us was ready to start anything new.

We met again on my third Pub Crawl and we both felt the connection again. Even though we mingled with the other people on the Crawl, we kept ending up talking to one another. It was at the Good Luck Bar that I knew he liked me. I walked in with Ted and we picked out a spot to sit down and he walked off to the bar. Tom deliberately moved Ted’s coat out of the way and sat right next to me. Before we left that bar I had my arms around both guys and they each had a hand on my knee.

Ray was right, just think about sex and men are drawn to you.

My friends were a bad influence on me and I broke my rule of one drink: every other bar and I started to get a little more buzzed than planned. Tom saw this as an opportunity and offered not once but three times that night that I could sleep it off at his place. And at the end of the night, I took him up on his offer.

All the while thinking about what was going on emotionally with Ray and knowing that we had no commitments to one another, I walked with Tom to his car.

Tom is a straight shooter like myself and wanted to lay it all on the line before we got to his place so he told me that he was nine months out of a seven year relationship with a girl who cheated on him. He was not looking for a relationship. I told him that I had no expectations, and I really didn’t, even for what might happen when we got to his place. I was determined to follow my motto for the night: Go with the Flow.